Drunk Ants

I think I may have mentioned ants and bugs a few times in my posts since they are such a large (and unwanted) part of my life here. I love the house I’m currently living in, but it does have a lot of ants. Many of the ants met a not-so-unfortunate death during the time we had lake-front property, but unluckily for me there were still many that survived. And now that it’s only raining a couple days a week the yard has completely dried out and the ants are free to multiply again.

But at the moment I would like to honor a few intelligent and worthy ants. (I hope that’s the only time in my life I use the words ‘intelligent’ or ‘worthy’ with respect to ants.) I’ve mentioned before that psycho-mutant Tanzanian ants eat everything and if you leave anything open or on the counter they pretty instantly manage to find and devour it. But there are a few select ants that deserve credit.

We didn’t finish a bottle of red at dinner the other night (sacrilege I know) so we left it for later- put the cork in the bottle and left it on the counter. I grabbed it last night and found a tiny hole burrowed in the cork with cork dust on the edge and counter around the bottle. On further inspection there was an ant crawling into the hole and another ant crawling down the bottle who was having a lot of trouble making it down in a straight line.

After my first flash of anger at having my wine ruined, I realized that these few intelligent ants knew that one of the true pleasures of life is a good red wine. And instead of being angry at them I should celebrate our common love. Unfortunately for the dozen or so floating in the bottle, some of them don’t seem to be smart enough to swim. Alas, I’m sure they’re not the first souls to meet their demise in the pursuit of good wine. But knocking the drunken ants out of the gene pool just means more wine for me!

Kansas 2003 National Basketball Champions

2003, March. National Championship Game between Kansas and Syracuse… two seconds left on the clock with Kansas down by 2… Hinrich shoots a 3 and… scores!!!! Kansas wins the National Championship title!!!! Blue and white confetti falls from the ceiling, suddenly all the players and coaches are decked out in shirts and hats that say ‘Kansas National Champions 2002-2003’ while cutting down the nets. It’s a happy moment for all Kansas fans.

Only, wait… I seem to be revising history. In reality, Hinrich twisted his ankle earlier in the game and his final shot was off… Syracuse won the title. The shirts and hats that suddenly appeared were orange and blue and had Syracuse written all over them. But haven’t you ever wondered what happened to the Kansas hats and shirts that almost magically appeared? Or to all the other ones that are printed for various other championship games or league titles? ‘Patriots perfect season’… they’re out there somewhere.

Well, wonder no more. At least not about one shirt- it managed to make its way to the east coast of Zanzibar and be spotted by one of the few people in the world that would actually know it was incorrect. How it got there is still up for grabs. But this seems to be the part of the world were tee-shirts, shall we say, make their way to die.

Surplus shirts- either from sporting events or from family reunions or from whatever- seem to make their way here. Charities frequently bundle higher-quality/rarely worn (i.e. family reunion) shirts and sell them to wholesale dealers. A buyer here buys a bundle, usually having no idea how many or what type of clothing is inside, hoping that the quality of the bundle is high. He/she then sells the individual pieces, and since this is Dar, they’re usually sold on the street. It’s a win-win situation since the charity earns money and is therefore able to continue its work while a job and income is created for both the middle-man and the final seller.

I would love to find the KU or ‘Patriots Perfect Season’ shirts, but despite looking at all the shirts I see, I haven’t found a fun one yet. My guard’s favorite shirt is ‘Parker Family Reunion Atlanta 2001’ and when I explained the meaning of the shirt he thought it was funny

And somewhere there’s a Parker that’s probably blissfully happy to have the extra closet space while simultaneously hoping that his/her family doesn’t discover they no longer have the all-important family reunion tee-shirt.