he’ll come back when he realizes you’re an idiot

Khangas are a staple of every woman’s wardrobe and life here. A khanga comes as two identical pieces of fabric, both about a meter square that are large enough to wrap around the body. Despite the popular misconception, khangas are not worn as a garment. They are worn over one’s clothing, a baby is placed in a khanga and strapped to the back, or they are wrapped around the head to protect oneself from the sun… they’re incredibly versatile and useful. The only time they’re worn alone is maybe when a woman is doing housework.

Khangas are soft cotton with very colorful prints and patterns. They have a border around the edge of the fabric, and on one side of the border there is always a saying- the khanga’s ‘jina’, which is the Kiswahili word for ‘name’. This is the part that I love about khangas, the jina. I assumed that the words were just meaningless words, or common sayings. No, not here in the land of passive-aggressiveness. Jinas are saying that are both nice and mean, take a few here:

-Second wife- forget it!!
-Let this wedding day be the happiest.
-He likes my full-food better than your half-food.
-Remain safe and happy.
-Friendship will last an eternity.
-I thought you were my friend, but you are my cowife.
-The true measure of a wife is her character.
-A house without a mother-in-law is a happy home.

Frequently khangas are given as gifts, either to good friends, as wedding gifts, or by a husband to his wife. So there are sayings of prosperity (especially for weddings) and saying of love. Friends may also give half a khanga as a gift, with a saying of friendship, so that you can wear matching khangas. (A twist on that old “be fri” and “st ends” pendant idea.) During elections, many women choose to wear khangas showing their political affiliation.

But the best are the khangas that women buy for themselves… they are chosen and worn to express a thought or feeling. If your friend is sleeping with your husband, you buy the one that says “I thought you were my friend, but you are my cowife”. If your husband is considering taking a second wife (which is legal in Tanzania), you buy the khanga “Second wife- forget it!!” to give him a not-so-subtle hint. If you don’t really like your mother-in-law, you buy the “a house without a mother-in-law is a happy home” and wear it, but not when she’s around.

My favorites are the khangas young women wear when fighting over guys. “He likes my full-food better than your half-food”, “don’t compete, you can never beat me”, “when you taste pineapple, you won’t go back to anything else”. And my favorite that I’ve seen is “he’ll come back when he realizes you’re an idiot”.